It's been almost 2 years since I last came here. I had almost forgotten about this place until recently when I was looking for somewhere to share my inner randomness to an invisible audience. I guess I should do a quick recap of everything that's been going on since my last post.
First of all, my plan failed. I cracked under the pressure and the box of lies popped open. But there was something I didn't expect, the consequences I had thought were different (certainly less doom-ish) and I was given another second chance. Then 2011 came, and that year was completely different to anything I had experienced in the previous years. Going back to that place where I faced failure so many times was still an option, but not the one I wanted. Instead I chose a different path to the same direction and the journey was much more enjoyable that time. I faced a new perspective, I met new people whose lives were easier to fake interest in, I had more time to do the things that I enjoy. I felt a sense of freedom. And everytime I looked back I reminded myself of my past mistakes and I didn't regret a single one of them, because without those mistakes I would have never seen this other reality. Eventually I reached the goal, the final destination. And I was proud of myself.
This year I've been living a more relaxed life. I've had all the free time I could've ever wished for, while I was trying to find a new goal, a new path to follow. I've thought of myself, I've seen my real self, and I'm slowly letting everyone else see that real side of me. Now I've found that new path that I've been seeking for the last 6 months, and I'll start that new journey next week. And the only way I can survive now is by showing everyone who I really am. No more lies, no more masks.
It's time to grow up.
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